Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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