Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
