i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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