Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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