im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
two words: eviction party
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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