It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
