ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I want is dick and wine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
