worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My dick has a subreddit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
