I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
