# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
