hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
