My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
