I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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