You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
