How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
