I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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