I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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