i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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