Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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