Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When are your genitals available?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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