You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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