I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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