we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
