Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize