Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
