i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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