...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
