worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
