My first STD was from a foam party
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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