apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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