i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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