Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize