I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
