So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
