"it" just moved
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
