i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
