Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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