White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
