SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
