either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize