You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
