i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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