You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
