Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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