you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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