I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Welp...herpes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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