Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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