My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
