So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
