Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just found a bag of teeth...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
