my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize