if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
