it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize