I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
