it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
