Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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