Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
