wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
even my farts smell like vagina
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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