You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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