okay pat passed out under dana's car
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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