You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize