I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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