I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
