All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
