1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
