Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
