So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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