As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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